Putting the Spotlight On Series | By Diane Viere & Elaine Altman-Eller
The Putting the Spotlight On series is written by Diane Viere, Founder of Partners In Prayer For Our Prodigals, Host of The Prodigal Hope Network and Christian Counselor and Elaine Altman-Eller, Family Recovery Specialist.
The Sights and Sounds of Enabling
In this first e-booklet of the Putting the Spotlight On Series, you will discover the critical difference between helping and enabling, the traps of enabling, and the cycle of destruction that occurs until we stop enabling the addicts we love.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Have you tried everything you can think of ... To no avail? Are you exhausted? Do you feel helpless and hopeless; trapped by the knowledge that what you have been doing is not working? Have you sacrificed your own well being with the sole desire of saving your addict? Why isn’t it working?
The Sights and Sounds of Enabling puts the spotlight on the ineffectiveness and collateral damage caused by enabling. Discover why enabling never works and how you can stop enabling today. Step out of the darkness of your hopelessness today; step into your strength—learn how to love your addict effectively and become a guiding light for their recovery. (PDF format)
"Received, printed, and sharing with my Granddaughters. I’m reminded by this to let go completely even though it has meant breaking my young granddaughter’s heart. What I learned in looking backwards is that I have been rescuing my daughter since before she was born. Often to my detriment, first from an abortion that DSHS wanted me to have before she was born. Then she was a preemie and after that protecting her even when she was a teenager doing things that were wrong, I started enabling her, then she was able to manipulate me into doing things that went against my principles. As strong as I was, I became weak. But as she has learned this time, I have reached my limit. She can no longer guilt me into paying for her phone to keep in touch with her daughters. She has an income now and can cover her own phone, etc. Thanks again for the reminder that I am doing the right thing for her and her daughters." ~ Charlotte
Price: $5.00
Dynamics of Dysfunctional Family Roles ... Scapegoating
Do you ever feel as though you are blamed for every one else’s problems? Are you forced to bear the burden of shame, guilt, or the consequences for another’s offense or irresponsibility? Do you try and try and try to make things right for someone else and when they choose to not do the right thing—everyone gets mad at you?
Being a scapegoat is an exhausting job! You love the scapegoater and yet, you find yourself on a dizzying roller coaster ride of emotions. You want to help your scapegoater, and with every failed attempt, you are rewarded with more blame. Once you become the scapegoat, even when you are minding your own business, being responsible, and not part of the problem, you are still blamed. Isn’t it time for a change of roles?
Scapegoating is an insidious, unhealthy, and dysfunctional family coping mechanism. It is a destructive family dynamic that harms everyone involved—especially the scapegoat. In this e-booklet, Elaine Altman-Eller and Diane Viere will outline what scapegoating is, how it happens, and how you can step out of this role and escape being the target of scapegoating ever again.
Price: $5.00
e-Booklets by Diane Viere
What Do Consequences Look Like?
When you love a prodigal, it is difficult to watch their painful journey without enabling. Many families continue to enable because they are unable to let their prodigal face the consequences of their poor choices and negative behavior. In the Parable of the Lost Son, found in Luke 15: 11:34, we discover that consequences played a huge role in the Prodigal’s return home. The Prodigal son’s epiphany happened as he found himself hungry, slopping the pigs, with no food to eat. So hungry, he would have eaten the “corn cobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any” (verse 16).
Consequences make a difference. Why then do we struggle so to implement and follow through? In What Do Consequences Look Like, written by Diane Viere, Founder of Partners In Prayer For Your Prodigals and The Prodigal Hope Network and Christian Counselor, you will discover the empowering value of consequences, identify their role in your life, and learn how to extend this gift of opportunity for growth to your prodigal while walking in the strength of letting your prodigal discover their own epiphany that will ‘bring him to his senses.’
Are you tired of the inconsistency of your fight? Do you struggle with following through on consequences? There IS hope ... Prodigal Hope. Discover the gift of consequences today and step boldly into the hope that is possible when we stop trying to do the impossible and let God to the impossible. (PDF format)
Price: $5.00
Change IS Possible
Countless parents have been desperately searching for just the right answer that will bring about change in the life of their prodigal child. With a laser beam focus only on their prodigal’s change, they have overlooked one important truth: we cannot change the life of our prodigal, no matter how much we want them to change. The only change that is possible is the change in our own lives; the real change that is possible. (PDF format)
Price: $5.00
What's Guilt Got To Do With It?
Do you love someone whose life is out of control? Do you keep feeling it must be "your fault?" Do you second guess everything you have done or decision you have made as you react to your prodigals' ongoing saga of events? Do you keep feeling you must have not made the "right choice" when handling a troubling situation? Does your head say one thing, but your heart another?
Explore this topic about the major struggle in the lives of so many people who love a prodigal who continues to make destructive choices. Discover
the critical difference between toxic and healthy guilt, helping and
enabling, and how you can stop feeling guilty for everything and about everyone!
If
you or someone you know is tied up in knots because of the never-ending
drama and chaos in your prodigal's life, this e-booklet will help you
find freedom from toxic guilt. (PDF format)
Price: $5.00
Prodigals are not limited to one’s children or drug use; whether child or adult, spouse, relative, or friend, anyone who walks away from God is lost and in need of prayer! Many of us love a prodigal who is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol; for others it may be a wayward spouse, sibling, parent or best friend. Adultery, addiction, distorted entitlement beliefs—extravagant reckless living.
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